WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
