i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
