you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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