I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
