just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize