forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.