he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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