Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
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im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.