she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.