I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy