It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
