Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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