Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Farmville is her only friend.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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