Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
