he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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