I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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