U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
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With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
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Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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