hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
