you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
