this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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