I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
