The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
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Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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