I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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