Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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