Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
