just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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