Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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