I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
What a dumb baby whore.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
