i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
