It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
