They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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