i just had sex bonerless
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
