STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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