do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
