What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
