Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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