nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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