I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
