i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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