I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
