If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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