I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
well you can't waste a boner
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
