Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
