I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
