He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
