I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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