so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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