How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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