She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My dick has a subreddit
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
