and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
