She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
