Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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