It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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