Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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