Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
