I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She said her name was "party"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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