I don't usually arrange sex via text message
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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