Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
