and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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