Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
