If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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