there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
