Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
