Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
cat food counts as protein by the way
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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