I hate your face
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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