what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
