She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
