She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
