Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
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She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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